Hello Food Deliverers and other denizens of the internet, you are all welcome here. My name is Iron Klaus, and I’m quite chuffed to be hosting my bodyguards and primary feeders (Raine & Siôn O’Tierney) here on the Hat Party. I doubt you have much interest in them, so we’ll try to get this interview out of the way quickly, as I hear there will be treats afterward.
Oh, and here they are wearing hats, you can't see me in this picture, I was busy burrowing under the covers.
First, I’ve heard a lot lately about this house hunting you’ve been doing lately. Is there digging involved? After you kill the house, will you share it with me?
Siôn: It's really exciting, isn't it? You'll have a yard of your own! Yeah, there hasn't really been any digging yet, but I promise, if it comes up, we'll call you in to help out.
Raine: Except...no digging up cute things. I mean, you can fight badgers all you want. It's what you were bred to do, but nothing adorable. Hmm...I wonder how often the average dachshund gets the chance to go on a real live badger hunt? Somehow I doubt it'll be an issue in the suburbs, Klaus--but stay vigilant.
Siôn: And, yes, of course we'll share! Duh!
Why do you both spend so much time paying attention to those hard black pillows, when we could be walking outside or chasing cats?
Raine: The laptops? You know, Klaus we actually have real pillows for you to lay on. You don't always have to flop right down on the keyboard. :) As for going outside...Why go outside when there's worlds to be built, characters to render, and sexy sex-things to be written?
Siôn: Also, we literally go outside any time you get up, cause otherwise, we know you'll just go find something new to pee on! So really, it's your own fault for not getting up more!
On the topic of cats, I know that other guy was grandfathered in or whatever, but you guys really need to do something about him. I heard he killed someone the other day...
Siôn: You know very well that his name is Kitty Pryde, and I’m sure you also know that wasn’t someone, but a mouse. Remember the last time you found a mouse in the house? You just played with it until you lost it and then Pryde had to track it down and clean up your mess!
Raine: Oh Klaus, the tales I could tell. For instance...is it or is it not totally true that you and "that other guy" cuddle up together and sleep? And that he sometimes grooms your fuzzy feet? You let him *groom your feet* dachshund. You're not a cat-hater at all.
Okay, okay, this is an interview, not an opportunity to dump on perfectly innocent, handsome, loving, majestic dogs. Let’s get back on track. You guys have some kind of story you’re promoting, can you tell me about my role in it and what about me inspired you to write it?
Siôn: Well... about that... You're kinda not in it. And you really didn't have anything to do with inspiring it (since we didn't even know you when the story took its first steps), but we could totally write a story about you! I mean, uh... how do you feel about shifter stories?
Raine: Dachshund shifters! *steeples fingers* Muwahaha! Perfection!
Why do you always ask people what kinds of dachshunds are the best? Clearly, I am the superior kind. There should be no doubt!
Raine: While I agree 100% that you are absolutely the best kind of dachshund, Klaus... Others may have their own opinions and we have to lull them into a false sense of security and acceptance before we spring the truth on them: Mwahaha! Iron Klaus is the grand supreme ruler of all things dachshundom. <3
Siôn: *under his breath* You're a superior something... *cough* Thank you Klaus, so much for having us here, and for being so patient with us.
~ ~ ~
BLURB: The city of New Alexandria is filled with powerful magicians-in-training and mechanical follies, the world’s largest library, and marvels beyond compare. The allure of this modern metropolis draws young people from all over the world, but Idrian has come instead for the opportunity to learn the new art of alchemy.
He’s been taken as an apprentice by Maketh, a scholar experimenting with new ways to combine technology and the ancient mystic arts. Together they’ve animated a living ice sculpture. Idrian cannot wait to unveil the sculpture alongside the other wonders at the annual Spring Festival.
After witnessing his master in a passionate embrace with another student, Idrian’s mind drifts to things beyond alchemy. And when a warm touch accidentally awakens the consciousness within the living sculpture, Idrian learns firsthand about physicality and the magic of passion.
EXCERPT: Pushing through his fear, Idrian put his palm against the frigid thigh—marveling that the warmth of his hand did not melt the ice. The artisan his master had commissioned was quite talented. The sculpture was crafted into the perfect likeness of a man. Broad shoulders, tight with hard, corded muscles, and a strong, lovely face. The sheet contoured to its body, hiding nothing of its form. Idrian stared for a long time. Did his master feel that the student Raj was lovely, as well? The way he kissed Raj—the hunger in it—Idrian thought he must. Was that all it took? Being in the presence of someone quite lovely?
Idrian would like to know what a kiss felt like.
Made bold by the privacy of the room and his titillated disquiet, Idrian decided he’d try, just once. And so, hair falling in his face, he leaned over the low table and with only a hesitant little gasp, placed his lips against the hand-chiseled lips of the living sculpture. It was as one might imagine kissing ice would be: numbingly cold with none of the passion he’d earlier witnessed. But as he made to pull away, he found his lips stuck for a brief moment as hot skin will stick to ice. Then it was skin to skin. The sculpture had caught Idrian’s bottom lip and pulled it firmly into his mouth. Sucking at it. Nibbling it.
Idrian gasped and tried to yank free, but found an icy arm snaked around his waist, pulling him down onto the slab, holding him there, trapped.
“You… are… warm.” The living sculpture, which should not have even been able to speak, breathed against him.
About the Authors: Raine O'Tierney lives outside of Kansas City with her husband, fellow Dreamspinner Press author, Siôn O'Tierney. When she's not writing, she's either asleep or fighting the good fight for intellectual freedom at her library day job. Raine believes the best thing we can do in life is be kind to one another, and she enjoys encouraging fellow writers! Writing for 20+ years (with the last 10 spent on M/M) Raine changes sub-genres to suit her mood and believes all good stories end sweetly. Contact her if you're interested in talking about point-and-click adventure games or about which dachshunds are the best kinds of dachshunds!
Siôn O’Tierney is a philosopher and gamer, but above all else, a consumer of stories. The best decision Siôn ever made was marrying his high-school sweetheart a week after graduation. (For the stories, and the sweet, sweet author monies.) These days, Siôn lives in Kansas City with his wife and writing partner, Raine O’Tierney. His free time is spent editing and walking the family's long-haired dachshund, Iron Klaus (maybe that’s not free time after all).