Hello Sandra and welcome to "Home of the Sweetness" <3 Thank you so much for subjecting yourself to the RANDOMNESS that is a Raine O'Tierney interview! Please don your best hat, and let's get started!
Hi, I tried to wear my nephew but he refused to stay on my head and I had to keep him on my shoulder. (do hats have to be not alive?)
If you could go back in time and have a conversation with 13-year-old yourself right now, what would you say?
Don't believe in happy endings. If you want one, write it, it doesn't exist in real life. Don't bother trying to win over your father, it isn't going to happen. Grow a spine and start thinking for yourself and don't wait for your parents to tell you what to do.
What is your biggest, most wildest, most extreme writing dream or goal? No dream is too outlandish.
I want one of my books to be made into a cartoon series. I can't draw or plan all those drawing boards. But that's what I want.
Your thoughts on libraries: GO!
I once fell in love with a country because of its' libraries. Where I am now, we don't have great libraries, but I do read a lot. Real books 'feel 'so much better that e-books for me and libraries are a great way of obtaining them.
I have hidden in libraries, made out in them and have practically survived in them so I have an attachment to them. I always try to include a library or a librarian to most of my stories.
Describe yourself using song lyrics.
Meredith Brooks - bitch
I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
But sometimes, it's:
3 doors down – Kryptonite
I left my body lying somewhere
In the sands of time
A very real—possibly poisonous—snake has taken up residence on your keyboard. What do you do?
Bring out the big guns
But really I live near a forest reservation so I do have snakes in the ceiling and porcupines on the front yard. We do get a lot of wild life and we spray the outside of the house with kerosene to keep them out. The last time we got a snake in the kitchen, my brother killed it and I took photos.
p.s. But I'm pretty good at snapping scorpions up by their tails using a string loop.
p.s.s. Something is stinking up in my ceiling, I think it's a dead snake so I'm moving to my sister's bedroom for the weekend.
What is your superpower? What is your Kryptonite?
I joke I want a superpower where I can make all my students' papers without looking at them but perhaps what I want is a miracle.
I'm really good at bouncing back from most situations, so my superpower is surviving shit. I've lost more than I've ever expected to lose but I've always survived so it's not a bad thing.
You have 200 words—Make. Me. Swoon. (PLEASE!) Someone swooned.
If nothing else, doesn't this make you curious?
As he fell onto the bed, gasping, he realized it was the first time he'd had sex in his new body—was it the same as losing his virginity? Tyler, still erect, rolled over him and Hideki obligingly closed his fist around his erection and gave him a couple of rough strokes, perhaps rougher than normal. He didn't want to like Tyler, not matter how much of a skilled lover he proved to be. Or a damn good pilot. Tyler came a few second later, hips moving in an aborted gesture, and it was over. They'd had sex and they hadn't
even kissed properly. Hideki collected his breath and sat up, ready to throw Tyler out. They were not going to have some post-sex cuddling session, and they both had battle data look over.
"Going so soon?" Tyler asked, sitting up as well, sweat gleaming on his body.
Hideki's body took notice and Tyler smirked. "Impressive recovery time, Inspector."
"You should leave."
"What a lovely personality you have there," Tyler said, rolling to his feet, adjusting the emergency helmet loop he still had around his neck like a comical looking necklace. "Did it come with the body upgrade?"
Hideki looked up as Tyler unsnapped his helmet loop and brought the sharp end down on Hideki's neck, hard. Hideki's vision swam. He struggled to get to his feet but his superior strength failed him and he fell to his knees, gasping. He opened his mouth to shout, but all that came was a hoarse gasp before his face hit the floor.
What is one mistake you’ve made during your writing career that you’ve learned and grown from?
I think I've learned not to depend on others, when it comes to writing.
Not everyone will like my plots / characters, there is no universal equations for pleasing every single reader.
If I want correct my mistakes, I should go back and do it myself.
And even the most well meaning friends will give me advice on plot, character … but if I want to write something, I should write it and not give a damn.
How do you think you’d handle yourself in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm pretty good with a rifle and I can use a two handed sword. I'd like to find a remote place on high ground with running water and kill everything that comes close. I suppose I should be able to cook what doesn't try to crawl away.
What is the most RANDOM thing to ever inspire you?
Everything inspires me. But a visit to my dentist the other day got me thinking …
And finally, for THE most important question of all: what kinds of dachshunds are the BEST kinds of dachshunds?
That's my sister holding one :D
~ ~ ~
On record, Hideki Takamura is the Inspector sent to examine space station Grand Adventure to ensure it meets all safety requirements. In reality, he has been sent to destroy it, and there is an evacuation fleet two weeks behind him. If he fails, it will be his mother and sister who suffer for it—but the job is easier when planning than in reality, especially when it comes to Tyler, the aggravating pilot who will not stay out of his way.
Available from Lessthanthreepress
Space shuttle crashes were never pretty.
Kaishi, seated in the third row behind the bounty hunter transporting a criminal to the Moon base for transfer, had been fast asleep when the emergency sirens went off. A veteran space shuttle traveller and a pilot in his own right, he had his helmet on before he was fully awake but knew it would do little to save him in an actual crash.
The helmets were supposedly designed to provide passengers with air in case of an air leak when they were in space. While it helped with the publicity and reassurance (safety of passengers) of the shuttle liner in case of an accident, in space, when the hull of a space shuttle is breached, it is best not to bother putting on the helmet at all and just pray for a quick death.
Kaishi adjusted the helmet around his neck, making sure there were no stray hairs caught in his nape before activating the sealant and felt with his fingers to make sure there were no gaps between his helmet and his neck. It was only after he was strapped in and the seats' emergency beacon switched on, that he looked at the navigation display on his arm rest. They were just miles above the Moon surface, which meant there was a chance they'd actually make it to the spaceport or at least, be rescued.
"Please remain in your seats. We're experiencing minor engine failure." The voice of the shuttle pilot, conveyed through the small speaker in his helmet, sounded neither calm nor reassuring. But Kaishi tried to think positively. He desperately wished he hadn't taken a commercial shuttle, that he'd just flow to the Luna Base on his own, damn the red tape and the expenses. His mother had been the one to insist he fly commercial—had told him it was safer.
The odds were in their favour. They were almost at the Moon base, which, though smaller than the Earth base, was the second largest groundside base in existence. True, there were much bigger space stations but it was not the point. The Moon base had emergency personal, medical facilities and everything else needed to handle a space shuttle crash. Additionally, moon gravity was less than that of Earth, reducing the chances of a crash and the lack of atmosphere meant less chance of catching fire.
Even if he and his seat were to be ejected, there was a greater chance of being rescued before his air ran out since, once again, he was close to a major base.
Provided his seat didn't drift too far. Which it wouldn't. He would be inside the moon's gravitational pull, no matter how weak. The myth about how budget shuttle seats didn't eject was just that. Anyway, it wasn't going to come to that. He was going to make it.
The shuttle was going to make it, alone with all the passengers.
They didn't make it.
Just one and a half miles from the Luna space shuttle landing facility, after skimming the surface, Agron-300 crashed into the surface of the moon. The resulting explosion was visible to two of the Moon bases' main domes and it provided the settlers with something to talk about for the next one and a half decades until an asteroid collided with their orbital observatory, providing them with a much brighter explosion. (No one ever mentioned the incident when they lost their mayor during the Luna base weapons display mishap that happened a year later. That was just plain bad manners.)
The initial explosion and the decompression had killed almost all of the passengers. Kaishi struggled to his feet, dazed, forehead bleeding inside the cracked helmet when a piece of the front compartment, carbon bonded alloy as light as aluminium, twice as strong as diamond and only two millimetres thick, propelled through the passenger compartment, pushed by the force of the explosion in the front, and sheered him in two. It sliced through Kaishi easily, dividing his body into two uneven sections. The upper section of his body fell to the carpeted floor of the shuttle.
If Kaishi had lifted his head, he would have seen that he possessed a stump of a right arm, about two inches long, no left arm what-so-ever and no lower body at all. There was surprisingly little blood; the emergency nanites in his blood had kicked in for all the good that it did.
The lower section of his body fell to the floor slowly, crumpling in stages, first the knees hitting the floor followed by a backward slide as if the body was still alive. There was no pain to speak of; all Kaishi was aware of was that he could no longer feel the rest of his body.
Damn, he thought resignedly. Must have broken my back, again.
Still convinced everything was going to be all right the next time he woke up, Kaishi Yamato died for the first time in his life.
About the Author:
Sandra Bard has been writing stories ever since she was a small girl but she’s only recently started to publish. She loves to make up stories in her head, read books, watch anime (mecha, yaoi), and occasionally visits a fan-fiction site. She lives with her pets (fish, cats and dogs), and has been a volunteer for an organization that takes care of stray dogs (there are many, where she lives), for over ten years. When she has some free time she dabbles in Wushu, Tai Chi, and Yoga to keep herself flexible (she hopes). Her real life jobs involve lecturing at the university and freelancing as a maths tutor. Though she writes romance stories, she still hasn’t met Mr. Right and hopes one day that she’ll be able to rescue him (whoever he may be) from a fire breathing dragon (or something equally daring). She would love to hear from her readers and can be found at her tumblr (sandrabard.tumblr.com) or emailed at email@example.com.
Lessthanthree press: http://www.lessthanthreepress.com/author-sandra-bard/
Comment between now and May 29th at 11:59 PM CDT with your email address for your chance to win a copy of Mind to Body!